Burning Out

When you look upon my tasks, your head might start to spin, and when you think you’re done at last, you’ll need to start again. All the blockers I’ve been facing have me against the wall, and while I try to climb this mountain, I’m setting up to fall. Queries queries queries, the data keeps on piling. And despite my efforts in efficacy, I must be patient while compiling. So when I stop and wonder at these monumental feats, I cannot help but ponder the limits of defeat. Like a lantern casting light, I can only provision so much oil, but the consumption that’s demanded has my systems boiled. What can I do against these monsoons and rising tides? And how can I weather these demands when I feel I must abide? Saying “no” is ineffective, saying “yes”: insane. I must digress this mess of stress manifests in feeling pain… that resides within my headaches and destroys my appetite, but that won’t stop me — from going down without a fight. It seemed like a good idea: agreeing to all these projects, but now I’m over-burdened (implementing prospects). My light can only burn so much with the fuel I provide, but the heat is burning me, and now I’m nearly fried. Weekends, nights, days, and lunches, I decided to work for free. Because following through with my word is so important to me. So I make the choice of what is right over what is easy. But there is no way in which I can successfully appease the — requests and maintenance that everyone’s demanded, and why my best efforts have me reprimanded. I didn’t design the processes that other devs forsook, but now I’m responsible for the shortcuts that they took. There is a stark difference between ideas and implementation, after all, innovation is only 1% inspiration. Now I present to you how I express myself — I’m not only working for free: but paying with my health.

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